Because Beginnings Take Time

It was the horrific blend of orange soda, French Fries, and not-so-happy burger that got me hooked on the vlogbrothers. It was awesome, no denying it, but looking back at that first time, I realize it was in a bit of a superficial way.

My introduction to Nerdfighteria is similar to all of yours'—Charlie McDonnell directed me to my first vlogbrothers video last spring. Previously, a girl in my school's book club had expounded on the awesomeness of YouTube's nerdy “vlogbrothers,” but I didn't pay any special attention. I had yet to embrace my own nerdiness—entangled with just plain social awkwardness, it was something I had struggled to hide since I became aware of it.

So I was delighted when I began to watch John and Hank and saw how fun and silly these brothers could be, and how my knowledge of Star Wars and canceled television series could put me inside a community instead of outside one. I kept exploring the videos, and one day during the peanut-butter-faced politics, I realized that I actually cared about what John was saying from beneath all that peanuty goo. I started paying attention to the serious videos as well as the punishment or advice ones. Gradually, I came to want to be involved in (or at least informed about) the world and to make it a better place, alongside fellow nerds. It wasn't the videos of John waxing his chin or Hank stuffing his cheeks with Peeps that made me really want to be a Nerdfighter. No, that process' time line is much fuzzier around the edges.

It's funny how some beginnings are starts, while others happen bit-by-bit and are more difficult to define. I remember exactly the video, and the balloon animal, which compelled me to subscribe to Charlie McDonnell. And the beginning of my love for Adam Lambert was clear: the first moment I heard him sing. Yet I don't remember when I actually became friends with the people I hang out with today; nor can I pinpoint the moment when I decided to become a Nerdfighter. Maybe it's simply that meaningful changes take time to develop, while attachments quickly formed are more superficial.

(There is the argument for love at first sight, but how often is that initial feeling really responsible something lasting? It's more what happens after that first meeting that is the real beginning, that time in a relationship with true bonding that we never see in Disney movies.)

So while Nerdfighteria took some time for me to truly commit to, I believe that makes it something that I will still love many years from now.

As I reflect on beginnings, the future of this blog group seems like a great big, exciting question mark. I ask myself what I want from this, and the answer takes some thought. But whatever happens, I hope this project is something we can always be proud of and think of as a meaningful experience.

And maybe someday one of our readers will say, “I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way of reading Still Life, I began to love it.”

Until next week,
Sofia