The Problem with Excuses

"Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains." -Jean Jaques Rousseau

I've never really felt the need to give excuses to other people. Even from a very young age, I had a sense of being responsible to myself only. You can ask my parents (mom, feel free to comment on this one, it's okay), and I'm pretty sure they would tell you the same thing. I think every person gets to an age where they realize that to a pretty large extent, no one can tell you what to do and then force you to do it. Yes they can punish and reward, convince and encourage, but at the end of the day, you have the free will.

It's the excuses I make to myself which really hold me back. Sometimes in my life, I hold myself to an outrageously high standard. But other times, I am quick to give myself an easy out. I let myself off by saying something is too hard, too boring, too time-consuming, too worthless, to bother with. The problem with being independent and intrinsically motivated is that no one else's encouragement has an effect. I simply don't do things to receive praise, admiration, or to abstain from criticism. Since I do things because I want to do them, it makes it really hard to do things I don't want to do.

I am moving to a new city in about 3 months. I am only moving a couple hours away from my current city (also where my sister's family lives) and a little over 4 hours away from my home town (where my parents and brother's family live). Regardless of the closeness of the move, I still feel like I am striking out on my own, completely. I have secured a job in my field, I'm looking at apartments, and I made a budget to plan for long term savings. I have to go to a seminar on retirement plans. There is so much to do.

I often catch myself saying to friends who are complaining that I am too busy to see them, that the current semester has been my most difficult yet. It is almost never because of the difficulty of the classes, but rather that extra things that I push myself to do. During each semester of my time in university, I have thought that my strained schedule and sleep deprivations could not get any worse or my to do list any longer. Life, I apparently think, should always be trending upward.

Although marriage and children create more stress, I remember reading in a psychology class, they also increase ratings of life fulfillment. In my life, things are always getting more difficult, but they are also getting more fulfilling and rewarding. And that rejuvenates me despite all the additional stress. The problem then, lies in those pesky excuses. When life is always getting just a bit more complicated and pushing me to be and do more, it is really easy to put something off with an excuse.

"No! you don't have time to write a blog post when you need to finish grading those quizzes and finish planning that fund raising event that you're hosting in less than 16 hours." Oh excuses.

I am going to take the challenge, Brad. Although I want to use an excuse, I really don't have a single legitimate reason for not being able to do it. No I don't have time to do anything right now, but I still spent 20 minutes writing this and a few hours last weekend reading. And with my imminent move getting closer, I really cannot say no. At the end of the day, I have to find that motivation within myself to complete the challenge (metaphorically). Unfortunately I haven't quite figured out what really motivates me to do something outside of my passions and hobbies. For now, I'll settle for the approach cited below: write it down and make yourself accountable to others. (But FYI, this challenge for me doesn't start until the end of next week...)

Thanks for sharing everyone.
Happy Thursday,
Elise